Category Archives: jail

Mrs. Potato Arrested for Child Endangerment

Standard

IMG_2216

Hello everyone.  I’m Icey Mee and you’re watching the I.C.U. News Network.  We have THE scoop tonight on a story breaking in an undisclosed county jail.  This picture was smuggled out by a disgruntled child who went to visit her father.  We can confirm that the pictures are valid and that Mrs. Potato has been arrested on child endangerment charges, as well as a host of other charges, after an appearance on the ‘Stay Home Show’ where she was seen eating the free chips.

IMG_2139

Authorities are telling us that although the chips were free, they were not for HER to eat as they are blood relatives.  Mrs. Potato was also booked on charges of theft, not having proper ID, and lending her arms to another person, which violates penal code #13452 in California.  This code clearly states that the government or corporations shall have the right to borrow your arms but a family member shall not.  It also clearly states that the government or corporation shall have the right to deny you healthcare, enslave you, starve you, jail you or bore you to death, but that the Parent, of said person, shall not.  She faces a minimum of 13 years in solitary confinement for these 3 charges.

Icey Mee is able to make phone contact with the child who smuggled the photos of Mrs. Potato out of the jail.  Her identity will remain private as she is a minor.

Icey Mee:  Hello and welcome to the show.  Why did you decide to take such a risk to smuggle out these photos?

Child:  I can’t take it anymore!  First they arrested Flynn Ryder and Maximus….(pause…child starts to cry).  Tangled was my favorite movie!  Whaaaa!  Whaaaa!  Boohoohoo.  Boohoohoo.  (Icey Mee waits for the child to be able to talk again).  Then I saw that they were trying to take my chips away!  I had to do something to stop this!  Whaaaa!  I love my chippies….Boohoo.  Boohoo.

Icey Mee:  I can see that you are very upset dear.

Child:  Are they gonna take my dippy sauce next?

Icey Mee:  Well I certainly hope no one takes your chips and dippy sauce.  Tell me, How did you get into the jail with a camera?

Child:  (She perked up a little bit).  Oh!  We all know how to do it.  Our parents watch Lock Down.

Icey Mee:  Why were you at the jail?  You’re just a little girl.

Child:  My dad is there.

Icey Mee:  Why is your dad there?

Child:  He said he was just trying to make a living.

Icey Mee:  It seems like you are more upset about your chippies and Flynn Ryder than your dad.  Can you talk to us about that?

Child:  I am upset about my dad.  But everyone says he is where he needs to be.  I don’t get it…but I’m sure that Flynn Ryder and Mrs. Potato don’t belong there.  Whaaa.  Whaaaaaa.  Boohoo.  Boohoo…hoo.

Icey Mee:  Oh honey, don’t cry.  You’ve done a very brave thing by letting us know that all of your favorite things have been taken away from you.

Child:  Boohoo…Is everything wrong?  Am I going to jail too?  I’m trying to be perfect but nobody believes me.  Whaaaa.  Whaaa.  Boohoo.

Icey Mee:  It is true that many people in the place you live will find fault with you.  But we at the I.C.U. News Network are going to help you.  Sweet dreams.

The conversation between Icey Mee and the little girl ends.

Icey Mee:  Welcome back to the I.C.U. News Network.  Thank you for joining us tonight.  The I.C.U. Network is putting out a call to help this little girl and the millions like her who have parents in jail.  It’s time to STOP incarcerating our society.  Everything is NOT a crime.  Maybe it is an opportunity to see where things can be changed.  Maybe it is an opportunity to look at our policies and practices regarding human beings of every race, religion, and color.  Maybe it’s time to wake up and count the roses, most of whom in this country are in prisons and jails.  Maybe it’s time to wake up and smell the torture of supermax prisons.  I would be arrested if I treated my dog that way.

Good Night.  And a good tomorrow.  Thank you for tuning in.

 

Advertisements